The Maid In The Reverse Harem Game Wants To Quit - Chapter 117
Translator: Nabi
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Chapter 117
As Louise gained memories of Irene, she began to understand to some extent that this world was part of a game, so there was no way she didn’t understand what Irene’s words meant.
She recalled the expression on Irene’s face that seemed to express gratitude towards her… like someone who placed a child in front of a stream and left, fully aware of what would happen if the child stayed at the water’s edge.
At times, she hesitated, but eventually, she would act coldly.
Yet, in the end, Irene would always come back, sleep on the same pillow, and lie side by side with their still-damp hair scattered.
However, the voice gradually lost its luster. Louise remembered Irene’s first life, the time she saw the ‘Love’ ending for Otis.
“I’m sure Miss Louise will be happy.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Of course! Because you have me.”
Irene smiled broadly as she said that. Holding Louise’s hand was a bonus.
Back then, Irene was more immature than she is now. She smiled much more often and sometimes seemed to be longing for something. Even when Louise secretly picked up an apple in the bustling kitchen, she would step in and let her know that the apples in the other sack were even more delicious.
Her violet-colored eyes sparkled brightly. As Louise reminisced, she considered holding Irene’s hand during those times as her most enjoyable moments.
…However, as their lives progressed, Irene’s light quickly dimmed.
The turning point seemed to be in the fourth life, on a night that heading towards the ending of Otis’ Die route. It was the night when Louise screamed that she didn’t love Otis, broke up with him, and joined hands with the villain to seek revenge.
After parting ways with Otis and returning to her room, Louise found Irene sitting on the bed.
“Miss, Miss Irene… haven’t you slept yet?”
There was no response to the question. Even her shadow, sitting in the darkness, remained completely still.
If there had been a light, Louise would’ve been able to see the expression on Irene’s face. However, since she was in a secret meeting and didn’t bring a lantern, all she could see was a black silhouette.
Still, one thing was clear.
There was a distinct cold and dry atmosphere in the room, which was quite different from the usual. Irene remained silent and simply stared at Louise. The unmoving silhouette facing her was the only evidence that she was looking at her.
After what seemed like an eternity passed by—
“…Please be careful of the stairs.”
—Irene’s voice finally broke the tension that filled the room for a moment.
Was she mistaken after all? Perhaps, she must have been worried that Louise might stumble when she saw her walking around without a light.
“Thank you for your concern, Miss Irene! I can get around without a lantern. If I hold on to the handrail, I will be safe.”
“Some stairs don’t have railings, like basement stairs.”
“But they all have railings except for the basement, and I rarely go to the basement?”
By the time they finished exchanging their words, it seemed like faint, hollow laughter could be heard.
…Maybe that was just an illusion?
Irene, who was always friendly, seemed distant somehow. However, Louise was already upset about Otis, so she brushed off the minor changes in her roommate.
As for the advice to be careful of the stairs…
It was because, in the fourth life, she fell down the basement stairs, cracked her head, and died.
Irene cried even then.
…Even when she died from being bitten by Rodion’s dog in the fifth life, and when she died from being pierced by Ahibalt’s sword in the sixth life.
Louise had never listened to Irene’s wish for her to be happy. Perhaps that was why. With each life, Irene cried more and more, as if inversely proportional to the fewer words she spoke. She expressed her wish for Louise’s happiness more often and urged her to pursue it.
As the ending approached, Irene diligently separated her from the male lead. That was how Louise found out about the sixth ending and her suicide.
Only then did she realize that Irene had never wished for her own happiness.
…Always wishing for hers, Irene had no part in hers.
So, naturally, Louise questioned. Knowing that she had to move towards a predetermined ending, and placing her hand on the path…
‘…What was Miss Irene thinking when she wished for my happiness?’
Irene was the only one who knew that there was no happiness at the end of the road. She was also the only one who wept sorrowfully at the tragedy that had befallen her.
Was there really only guilt in it?
Why did Irene always wish for her happiness?
Louise, who had come to know the truth of this world and what Irene had been through, had the answer as well.
“I… took away her life throughout that time.”
It was simple.
It was because Louise was the heroine of this game.
“Because I was the center of this world, Miss Irene, who knew that, had no choice but to put me before herself.”
Unable to bear the weight of guilt, remorse, and emptiness that accumulated through her repeated lives, Irene was stripped of even the core of her existence.
…She wouldn’t have been able to bear it otherwise.
Perhaps Irene had been vaguely aware of it, as her suicide in the sixth life was proof of that. When both Louise and Ahibalt died, she must have felt that the pillar of her life was no longer there. The guilt and remorse piled up repeatedly, and the twisted affection suffocated her.
Irene didn’t think she would be able to live that life. She had become a stone that had been chiseled and hollowed, losing its original form… that was Irene.
If she were to tell Irene what had happened in the first life right now, would she remember, or even believe it?
Louise reminisced about a time when they were making the bed together and one of the pillows burst, covering both of them in feathers from head to toe. In order to cover up the incident, they stripped down to their negligees and threw the pillows into the fire.
“Miss Irene, you look like an undercooked duck!”
“Hahaha! And you, Miss Louise, look like a baby pigeon!”
After a moment of surprise that the pillow had exploded, the two rolled on the floor, laughing at the sight of each other covered in feathers.
“This isn’t the time for that. We need to fix it quickly before the butler catches us.”
“Can we fix it? We can’t even burn it in the fireplace like this.”
“The fireplace is too small. But the chef must be taking a nap right now.”
“Miss Irene, are you suggesting…”
“If you’ve caught on, collect the feathers quickly!”
After murmuring those words, Irene took the lead like an older sister and started gathering the feathers in her apron. Even as they threw their clothes into the fire and watched them burn, mischievous smiles remained on their faces.
Looking back, it was a strange memory.
It was both sorrowful and unfamiliar.
The fact that Irene had lost her life and herself over such a long period of time, like a melting candle, was unbearably sad. Louise was the one who remembered all of Irene’s past more vividly than Irene herself. It was only then that she understood the hallucinations she had been experiencing and Irene’s constant apologies to her.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she couldn’t bear the weight of what Irene had sacrificed for her sake.
So Louise cried for a long time.
As her tears subsided, she realized what she needed to do, a purpose that had been obscured by her intense crying. That was why she came straight to Edith.
And…
“If this ends when someone dies, then I’ll disappear. Please do so… that’s what I want to ask you.”
…To put an end to this twisted time and tragedy.
Tears streamed down Louise’s cheeks, but she didn’t appear entirely sad. Rather, she had a somewhat content expression.
Edith, unable to comprehend even when she heard it with her own ears, asked in confusion.
“Do you know what you’re talking about?”
“We’re talking about stopping time from repeating itself.”
“I’m talking about you disappearing from everyone’s memory, no, your very existence, forever!”
“It’s something someone has to go through anyway. If that’s the case, I want to do it.”
“…I don’t understand. You’re the center of this world, so why do you want to die so badly?”
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Translator’s Note: Hello, it’s Nabi! I’m the translator of this novel ପ( ๑•ᴗ•๑ )ଓ♡ If you like the novel and would like to support me, please feel free to click the button below to go to my kofi~! Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don’t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. ❤︎
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lalaela
Girl ofc shes lived 7 lives, who wouldnt be sick of that. I hope ahibalt doesnt suddenly interfere and get himself killed instead. I think Irene deserves a peaceful death after holding all those memories and guilt thrpughout the 7 run throughs.