The Maid In The Reverse Harem Game Wants To Quit - Chapter 113
Translator: Nabi
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Chapter 113
It may seem a bit ridiculous to say this, given that Ahibalt alone wasn’t confident to endure an eternity, but that was Irene’s love.
When the days got longer and the mauve leaves started to soak up the sunlight, or when the plums started to drop in June, she used to fear that the deepening colors of the season would make my heart beat faster. Every time their eyes met, she would think of ripples on the lake and the plums she missed sinking into the air.
The uprooted plum tree and the gaze that watched as she sank…
At some point in my life, she thought I’d tried to ask.
Young Master, why do you always look at me like that?
Irene knew her position very well that she was only an extra and that the only possibility she could become involved in romance in this game was when the male protagonists pulled on her skirt hem to make Louise jealous.
She had already seen through Otis. She’d seen through Ahibalt, screaming for her in the rain, and she remembered Rodion, who had gone mad in disbelief at Louise’s death…
She had suffered too much mistrust to believe in someone’s love.
It wasn’t just the male protagonists who gained distrust over the course of seven lives. Irene didn’t trust herself as much as Ahibalt did, distrusted love as much as Otis did, and became as distrustful of humans as Rodion was.
So, how could she ask such a question out of her mouth?
How could she have dared to think such a thing?
‘…Maybe I’m not Ahibalt’s first love?’
It was more hopeless than a drowning butterfly swimming. In the end, she kept her mouth shut for a very long time.
Still, it was funny.
After Ahibalt’s Love ending, that was, after she stopped loving him. She was getting more and more convinced of that thought. In addition, they said love put a lot of film on one’s eyes, and curiously enough, her gaze only became clearer after she took a step away.
‘Actually, there’s no way you don’t know.’
If anyone saw them like that, it would be hard for anyone not to realize it. It was just that she’d been turning a blind eye to it for so long.
However, there was nowhere to run anymore.
Irene knew this would be the last confession she could ever make. She could feel her hand trembling in his. It was amusing that it was her who was opening up, yet it was the other person who was afraid. It was unclear whether her heart was beating with excitement or heartbreak, so she didn’t dare laugh at anyone.
A voice like a willow leaf in the morning drifted slowly from Irene’s lips.
“…Since you didn’t die like me, I’m sure you probably remember something from your previous life.”
When she fell unconscious in Lichpen and woke up again in Lavrenti, she realized that the memories she had regained weren’t limited to her own death.
It was right that Elios contained a fair amount of information.
In fact, many things in the game that she experienced while repeating her seven lives had disappeared, but since she was circling through the same time and place, she didn’t feel their absence.
‘I don’t usually think too deeply about things I can’t remember.’
Lost memories were like paper with spilled ink. If you’ve forgotten they existed, you wouldn’t naturally think about them, and even after coming back, it didn’t come as a noticeable difference.
“When I went to Madam Edith’s lab, I saw Elios’ records.”
How many times could she see her memory with her own eyes?
At the time, Irene didn’t think much of it as she brought her eyes to Elios’ observation instrument. The observation instrument, which seemed to be a suitable combination of a telescope and a microscope, was fortunately safe from the explosion, which triggered her curiosity.
And it was only when she saw her memories with her own eyes that she realized what she had forgotten.
“I don’t know why it showed me that memory since Madam Edith’s records show that she saw a different memory every time she observed it.”
Irene had an idea. It has been documented that observing something higher from something lower could be very reflective of the psychological state of the observer, so it was also a testament to where her heart lay.
Perhaps, it was just trying to remind her of something she’d forgotten.
“I asked you, Young Master, why… why did you look at me like that.”
It was on a day when she couldn’t possibly ignore the clear reflection in his eye, the time when Ahibalt, as usual, left his cufflinks and necktie in her hands before Louise came to the mansion…
“Well done, I don’t know how my daily life would go without you.”
Ahibalt’s congratulatory words overflowed what had been stirring inside her. She didn’t know if it was just those words, but Irene gazed at his eyes and hands as he walked around, fumbling while fastening his tie and cufflinks.
…The halting breaths and blushing faces whenever the distance closed to less than an arm’s length.
…Eager to add a few more words, the gentle voice asked her about the current situation.
Irene wasn’t certain when Ahibalt had begun to hold her in his heart, but she could say with certainty that it was around two years before Louise arrived.
That was the time when he acted like a sea basking in the sunset.
A time when you didn’t know how to capture the feelings that came to you for the first time, and you weren’t even sure about those feelings.
Plums in full bloom begin to fall one by one like rain in the month of June. Thanks to this, it was a time when the smell of sourness didn’t disappear everywhere in the mansion because they were boiling plums every day.
At the time, Ahibalt had a first love that emitted that familiar scent… to the extent that it became more difficult to turn a blind eye to it when it was her sixth life.
‘After this period passes, it’ll probably become dull like that again.’
It only took a month for the plums to fall from the tree.
After the same amount of time, Ahibaltalso learned how to suppress his emotions. He was truly an excellent student.
Even though she knew it, Irene couldn’t resist. While Irene didn’t even know where to begin with the emotion, it was vivid. Was it because what she was witnessing now was just the foundation for his love for Louise?
After showing such affection, are you going to be the master who wouldn’t even look at her when they reached the ending?
‘No, rather than that…’
It was truly disheartening that no matter how many lives she’d gone through, she would never love her. Even a willow leaf that has fallen into a river would get caught by a stone rock at least once, but she’d never had one. No matter how hard she tried, in the end, Irene had to let the river flow as it naturally would.
So, it was just a trick.
“It feels like the Young Master is always looking at me.”
The only line she could cross at the time.
“Why do you look at me like that?”
She hoped that he would be flustered, even if only a little. She believed that someone like him, who couldn’t even extend a hand and merely blushed, could fulfill her misguided expectations with this level of questioning.
However, Ahibalt responded as if he was puzzled rather than surprised by the question.
“Irene, do you see me like that?”
It was really unexpected.
“I was curious, too. Why do you look at me like that every time?”
Irene didn’t know how he answered and ran away from there.
Elios’ record was cut off there.
Running out of the room, she abruptly stopped dead in her tracks in front of the mirror in the hallway. The familiar face, trembling gaze and beating heart were vividly felt. Nonetheless, it was also a subtle difference that she would never have noticed at any other time.
A difference that even Irene, who has been through it herself countless times, wouldn’t have noticed. In other words, they were in the same place at the same time, sharing the same gaze.
Realizing that, Irene understood why these memories had been fragmented from her death. It was because it was a life that she couldn’t live with such intense emotions in her heart. Only by killing herself and stepping on the burning ashes could she hope for tomorrow.
She turned away from love in order to live. But now, with all the endings rising up to the surface, she didn’t want to look away anymore.
Irene took Ahibalt’s hand as her lips parted.
“I want to live with you, Young Master.”
__
Translator’s Note: Hello, it’s Nabi! I’m the translator of this novel ପ( ๑•ᴗ•๑ )ଓ♡ If you like the novel and would like to support me, please feel free to click the button below to go to my kofi~! Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don’t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. ❤︎
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Rate the novel on Novel Updates.
Join our discord to receive the latest updates as soon as possible!
What Are Pilot Novels?
Pilot novels are novels that will only have a few chapters released from our group. We hope that someone else can continue these novels for the enjoyment of everyone!
lalaela
We’re finally nearing the end 😭✨