Why, Can't You Eat? - Chapter 72
Translator and Editor: Effe and Yonnee
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Chapter 72
“We went to many places together. We met a lot of people and we went through a lot as well. Adelaide was a beautiful and charming woman, and she was so pure and wise that she could not be considered a devil.”
“I was sorting out Grandmother’s belongings and found the letter. It was a letter from a man named Marsein Fenril. May I ask if you know who that is, Your Holiness?”
“Marsein… That’s a name I miss. Of course I know him—we traveled together. He was the second. The first was Seran, the third was Lantis, and the last was Ulysses.”
“Ah.”
I made a short sound as the Pope’s words continued slowly. I had never heard the names of the other two, but Ulysses was definitely the name of my late maternal grandfather.
“Adelaide would sometimes spend the night with them. Strangely, however, no one thought of being jealous of each other or taking her for themselves. Everyone pretended not to know what she did with the others.”
“They were worried that she might leave.”
Endymion had been quietly listening to the story until now, but he answered quietly. Looking at him gently, the pope smiled bitterly and nodded in return.
“None of it seemed to hold any meaning for her. But on the one hand, everyone could feel it. The moment they were to reveal their feelings, this ambiguous relationship would end. Adelaide was not very interested in human emotions. She hated complexity, and she hated anything that might shackle her. No one could understand, but that was the only way we could be with Adelaide.”
Endymion’s gaze briefly turned to me. But unlike me, who was aware of it to some extent, Grandmother really didn’t know. Even though Marsein had sent a letter with such sorrow and affection, Grandmother had no idea that the man had feelings for her.
“Was it because you were a priest that you never confessed your feelings to Grandmother?”
“I was scared. More than the fear of being rejected, I was afraid that she would leave because of me. As much as I loved God, I came to love her as well. And, as much as I thought of God, I came to think of her. There might have come a time when I was desperate enough to give up everything just for her, but well. In the end, it was my choice not to confess my feelings to her.”
The pope clasped his hands together in prayer as he gave me a small smile. In his hand that opened after a while, there was what I was looking for so much. A silver ring with a geometric pattern.
“I made this ring and told her that wearing this would make her human. I asked her to put on the ring if she wanted to live as a human being. But she…”
Grandmother didn’t wear the ring. Of a color reminiscent of the grains of rice in an autumn field, his eyes slowly closed. Even though emotions had no tangible form and were not visible, I felt longing and regret in her wrinkled face and tightly closed eyelids.
“I wished for her to live a human life with me. However, I was a person who served God, and I could never confess my feelings. After giving the ring to Adelaide, I returned to Terra. It was the first time after a full year. I cried a lot. I was very sad.”
“…Do you regret it?”
“Hoho. Yes, I also regretted it. A long time later, when I heard from Marsein that Adelaide and Ulysses were married, I drank. Enough to reveal the emotions that were hidden deep in the heart, hidden so that no one would find out or be seen.”
The pope touched the ring with a lonely face. To me, it was Grandmother’s keepsake and what I needed to live as a human being. But for the Pope, it was a precious thing that held within it decades worth of emotions. I said I had come to get it back, but technically I wasn’t the owner either. He said as I stood hesitantly.
“Miss Lilith, you mentioned earlier that Adelaide is within you.”
“Yes, that’s right. It wasn’t long before I found out, but since Grandmother passed away, I think she’s been inside me because she was worried about me. So I think that’s why I considered the ring as Grandmother. I’d love to see her if possible…”
I could only meet her in my dreams. I’m sure she must be watching the situation, but she wouldn’t be able to see it herself. As I paused, the Pope shook his head quietly. And he reached out his hand to me.
“…Would you mind giving it to me?”
“Yes, of course. The ring will now regard you as its owner, Miss Lilith. Even if someone takes it, it will come back to you, so please continue cherishing it from now on.”
I carefully accepted the ring he held out. Then I squeezed the cold metal in my hand and closed my eyes. When I first lost my ring, I thought about putting it on as soon as I found it. No, it was just a few weeks ago. Reflexively, I placed my hand on the mark on my lower stomach.
The pope, who coughed lightly, continued in a whisper.
“I used to think that way. If I had honestly expressed my feelings at that time, I wondered if anything would have changed. It’s such a blurry past that it’s hard to even think about it now, but after living this long life, I now understand. There are things that cannot be conveyed unless spoken.”
“You sound exactly like what Grandmother used to say. I heard the same thing.”
“Is that so? Adelaide has not changed since the old times. She was a very consistent woman. The loss I felt when the ring returned to me and found out that she had passed away was indescribable… It seems that she lived happily ever after.”
She closed her eyes after becoming a human being, making a family and living as a good wife and a good mother. Even after that, there was this moment at the beginning of a grandmother who was so kind that she was worried about her granddaughter and could not leave her in peace.
“Thank you. For continuing to love Grandmother.”
“I am truly grateful. It was fun to be able to think of her after a long time.”
And the priests who went outside came back inside, and one of them was holding a decoction. Me and Endymion came out of the room after being politely guided. The ring in my hand dug into my flesh. As we went back the way we had come without a word, I asked the priest.
“Is His Holiness not in a very good condition?”
“I heard that you are an honored guest. Please do not disclose it anywhere else.”
“Of course.”
“Thank you for your consideration. In fact, his health started deteriorating rapidly three years ago.”
“Well, as far as I know, I heard that he will accompany the delegation to Ciel next month. That…”
“All the ministers were against it, but he insisted on going no matter what.”
At their melancholic murmurs, I felt a pang of guilt. It was three years ago when I lost my ring. He must have been in shock. After I looked back a few times, Endymion gently wrapped his arms around my shoulder.
When our eyes met, he lowered his head with a good-natured smile. He didn’t say anything, but it seemed like he was saying that this was not my responsibility
When we left the room, the air felt heavy again. I reflexively frowned.
“Your conversation seems to have ended well.”
“High Priest Larsen.”
When a voice came from the side, I saw the high priest walking this way, a light smile on his face. The priest who guided us bowed to him.
“Then, High Priest, please take care of the guests.”
“Yes, thank you for the good work. The two of you, I will guide you to a place to rest.”
“No. We will be leaving right away…”
“Tsk tsk, Endymion. What are you going to do about the old man who wants to hear about his grandson after a long time. The Miss has a pale complexion too, so you should rest well today and leave tomorrow.”
Endymion looked at me and pursed his lips. Judging from the current state, if we would stay here as it was, I’m sure I’ll have to absorb his essence one more time, whether it’s tonight or tomorrow night…
“I can’t agree to that if she finds it hard.”
“No. Endymion, I think one day will be fine.”
“Are you sure you’re okay, Miss Lily?”
“I just need to wear the ring for a moment.”
In addition, I was very concerned about the high priest’s regretful expression when he said that it was difficult. Somehow feeling weak to the elderly, I nodded and followed the high priest who smiled brightly.
.
.
.
Sinclair, the paladin who had tried to attack me earlier, came when I was about to enter the room he guided us to after the meal.
“Hey, devil. Let me talk to you for a bit.”
“…Then Endymion, see you tomorrow.”
“Yes. Rest well, Miss Lily.”
“Are you ignoring me! Let’s talk!”
“I have nothing to say to a rude person.”
Why was he being so shameless when he got me into trouble earlier? As I looked at him with a disgusted face, Sinclair tilted his head as he frowned at me.
“You. Your demonic energy flowed out like that earlier, but why can’t I feel anything now?”
“I don’t think Miss Lily needs to explain herself. If you’re going to talk nonsense, just leave.”
“I am talking to this woman, Ciel’s knight. Mind your own business…”
“Hey, Sinclair! You apologized so you asked me to call you back. Did you ask me to come back to pick up a fight again?”
“H-High Priest.”
Sinclair hesitated as High Priest Larsen sternly scolded him. The high priest, who approached him while clicking his tongue as if expressing his displeasure, sighed.
“You have an upright mind, but you must also know how to bend it. Was it really the duty of God’s devotee to act rudely without knowing the exact circumstances? Does this Miss still look evil?”
“…No. I don’t feel anything right now.”
“Sinclair. If you can’t win against your emotions, no one will acknowledge you. Then, you won’t be able to follow even half of Damian’s life.”
Sinclair bit his lip and dropped his head. He seemed to have some circumstances, but I didn’t want to understand them. Like Endymion said, I didn’t have to explain. However, when Damien’s name came out of nowhere, I reflexively looked at Endymion, but he too didn’t seem to know the details.
At that time, High Priest Larsen cleared his throat a few times and glanced at me. He continued speaking.
“Well, maybe this Miss could be, well, your sister-in-law.”
“What?”
“…High Priest Larsen.”
Endymion sighed. I also exhaled, holding down my throbbing forehead, but Sinclair was looking at me and the High Priest alternately with a confused face.
Hearing that, it could only mean that Sinclair was Damian’s younger brother, but that didn’t matter. What did he just say to make such a misunderstanding?! I quickly shook my head.
“I don’t know what Damian said, but High Priest. I have no intention of marrying him.”
“Hohoho. You can’t predict what will happen a minute from now, so isn’t that also the case for a few years into the future? You never know it goes with people. Just think of it as a small wish of an old man who loves his grandchild.”
“…A small wish?”
“Now, wait a minute. Is that true? Really you…”
“I said no.”
I kept having this feeling, but it seemed that this person really had no intention of listening to others. His eyebrows furrowed as he spoke sharply, and his shoulders trembled slightly. As he avoided my gaze, he then closed his eyes tightly and bowed his waist as if he had made up his mind to do something.
“Please forgive my rudeness.”
“Be careful next time…”
“Sister-in-law!”
“It’s not like that!”
“Forgive me, Ciel’s knight!”
“…Ha.”
“High Priest. I will be more diligent. I will not become a nuisance to my older brother!”
My head hurts. Endymion looked as tired as I was. High Priest Larsen just smiled slyly, and Sinclair’s eyes shone as if he had never been so hostile to me before.
“…I’m going in.”
I was already so exhausted even though it wasn’t late yet. It was because of this situation, and it was also because I was overdoing it today.
I staggered to enter the room and lay down on the bed. I blankly blinked my eyes and looked at my hand. The clumsy ring on my now unfamiliar finger seemed to glow white.
I found the ring, Lilith.
She must have been asleep, but somehow, it felt like I could hear laughter.
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