The Maid In The Reverse Harem Game Wants To Quit - Chapter 121
Translator: Nabi
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Chapter 121
After Story — If You Had Loved Me (1)
Love was inherently close to madness. It was an innate desire in humans created on the premise of selfishness for survival, seeking someone other than themselves—to want someone so much that you would be willing to lay down even your own life—could there be anything more self-denying?
So, to claim to love someone, no matter what form that relationship took, bordered on madness.
Yet, despite this, no one could truly live without love. So, perhaps we were all designed to crave madness… a void that could only be satisfied with madness. It was the remedy to our mental starvation—either to love or be loved.
Hence, Otis Lavrenti, a man who once believed that love was nothing but a disgusting illusion, found himself wholly consumed by love.
For him, love was both madness and a lifeline, inseparable and indispensable.
His deep mistrust of love had its roots in profound self-loathing.
Fortunately, for now, Otis’s lifeline was still intact. The reason was simple. It was because the one who held onto his lifeline willingly chose to be embraced by him.
Even now, long strands of blonde hair, some of which looked pale brown at first glance, cascaded over his chest. As he brushed the hair covering the cheek of the woman who had fallen asleep in his arms, her sleeping face was revealed.
Beyond the long, sweeping eyelashes, there lay a woman with mysterious desires concealed within her violet-colored eyes, brimming with indifference. All she sought was the comfort of deep embraces and physical affection comfort.
Every time he succumbed to desire in her presence, she responded with an enigmatic sense of fulfillment.
Otis’s only love.
Irene Casimere.
Even though he fell in love with her indifference, he only realized now that he resented that indifference. At the same time, when he discovered that he wasn’t the only one vying for Irene, he was willing to betray his own brother if it meant possessing her.
…He couldn’t bear to lose her.
Such intense obsession and possessiveness were feelings he had never experienced before.
As the mansion’s preparations for Irene were completed in no time, Otis reached out to her for the first time.
“Would you like to leave with me? I promise it will never be difficult.”
It was a somewhat haphazard request.
Although he could have crafted a more plausible excuse, for some reason, he didn’t want to this time. It was the first time he had reached out to her, so he wanted to convey words that were as sincere as possible.
“You said you wanted to leave this mansion. I would do anything for you. I, you…”
I love you.
As he tried to utter those words, his breath caught in his throat.
Whether it was due to the contradiction he felt in mocking love all this time or the weight of the words being too heavy to speak, he couldn’t tell. Nonetheless, his tongue seemed to stick to the roof of his mouth, and he couldn’t bring himself to open his lips.
‘I’ll regret it if I don’t say these words.’
Just as that thought crossed his mind, Irene, who had been listening quietly, opened her mouth.
“Do you need me, Young Master?”
“…No, I want you.”
Finally, his lips parted, and a realization dawned on him. The reason he couldn’t utter those three simple words, “I love you,” was that they fell short of expressing the depth of his feelings. Love, with all its nobility and abstract nature, couldn’t capture the intense thirst he had for her.
“Every time I see you, I want to kiss you. I want to push away everything else and wrap my arms around your shoulders. I wish you had desired me, gasping for breath.”
That was how he wanted to break Irene and completely bind her by his side. Wanting her to crave only him, he hoped she would feel the same need, unable to bear it without him. He wanted her to yearn for his love so that he could have her love all to himself.
Primitive and instinctive desires flowed freely from his lips.
‘Of course, she’ll refuse.’
Perhaps she would meet his gaze with fearful eyes. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter. Regardless of Irene’s response, Otis had already made up his mind to take her to the mansion he had prepared.
However, things didn’t go as he expected.
Instead, she fixed him with inscrutable eyes, making it impossible to discern her thoughts as she finally spoke.
“I once had such a dream. A dream where what the Young Master said was true.”
It was neither scorn nor fear. Just a calm voice as if she was reminiscent of the past.
“In the dream, you said you wanted me though what you truly desired was comfort… someone to be with you. Is that what you need now?”
It was no different from asking him if he viewed her merely as a fleeting solace.
Otis’s expression contorted in an instant.
“I don’t know how much I seemed like trash to you then, but it’s better to dismiss those kinds of words. I don’t need anything else but you.”
“Then, do you sincerely love me?”
“Even if I say yes, you probably wouldn’t believe it, would you?”
…Such a response to his heartfelt confession.
Otis, who was hurt without realizing it, sharpened his voice.
“Think whatever you want. I had already decided to take you with me, regardless of your answer.”
It was no different from declaring a kidnapping and imprisonment, but Irene’s reaction was quite peculiar. Instead of being fearful or angry, she asked back.
“How far are you planning to take me?”
“To a place where Lavrenti’s name can’t reach.”
“Is there a place prepared for us to live? Is the sun shining?”
“Of course. I’m sure you’ll love it when you see it. I’ve purchased a truly beautiful mansion. It’s not common to find a mansion with flowers blooming all year round, is it?”
While Otis’s words were focused on the ‘beautiful mansion with flowers blooming all year round,’ Irene’s question was centered around whether ‘the sun was shining well’ At least if it was a place where there was sunlight, it wouldn’t be in a basement.
Without realizing this subtle difference, the conversation continued.
“Then, are you planning to keep me there?”
“Until you fall in love with me, yes.”
“And what if I never fall in love with Young Master?”
“Well, I’d be quite sad, I suppose.”
Not being loved by Irene and having to keep her locked up would both be terribly sad things. However, once he had made the decision to take her with him and leave, such sadness seemed insignificant.
“Still, even then… I’ll continue to love you.”
Irene frowned at his words though it was more like she was holding back tears, yet her countenance was far from crying.
The sight was rather strange because she never shed tears.
On the other hand, this unfamiliar reaction left him puzzled as Otis couldn’t quite figure out what part of Irene was stimulated by this bizarre conversation.
“In that dream, the Young Master eventually left me. Such a thought… it was too heartbreaking.”
However, one thing was certain.
This conversation had stirred her heart.
“So, please promise me one thing. No matter what happens, don’t leave me. If you do that, then I’ll love you too.”
“I’ll never leave you, from now on and forever.”
“From now on, and forever…”
As if making a vow or etching the words into her memory, Irene repeated his words and tightly held his hand.
As long as she held his hand, they didn’t have to go far. Irene wanted to stay in the mansion, and Otis allowed it on the condition that they would spend every night together. Thus began a relationship that was never a secret.
As Otis reminisced about that time, which had occurred half a year ago, his eyes softened.
‘At first, it seemed like she didn’t trust me.’
As time passed, trust grew between them. It started with merely sharing a bed, but soon they found themselves kissing as if they had made a promise… and from then on, there was no need for calculations.
Otis, for he was Lavrenti’s most adept at loving and being loved.
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Translator’s Note: Hello, it’s Nabi! I’m the translator of this novel ପ( ๑•ᴗ•๑ )ଓ♡ If you like the novel and would like to support me, please feel free to click the button below to go to my kofi~! Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don’t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. ❤︎
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