Not Knowing The Betrayal Of That Day - Chapter 112
Translator and Editor: Effe and Yonnee
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Chapter 112
Hert held Tessa dearly and begged her not to go. Don’t leave me. You can’t go like this.
“Tessa, don’t do this… please…!”
“He… r…”
“Don’t die… okay? Please… Say you won’t die!”
The man’s large hand floundered around the arrow-studded back. He couldn’t even put his hand on it because he knew that if he were to touch the wrong place, the wound could open and put her in even more danger.
He needed to stop the bleeding— he needed to treat the wound quickly… But why couldn’t he do anything? The feeling of helplessness Hert felt when he first lost Tessa before his eyes resurfaced, and he wanted to strangle himself.
He came all this way to protect her and never to lose her again, but why was he so helpless at the decisive moment this time as well?
I said I was going to keep loving you
But now… now you…
I thought I was able to fully love you…
You can’t do this…
“…Doctor! Call a doctor right away!”
Hert carried the woman’s small body, which was gradually losing warmth, and let out a screaming fit. Hert noticed that the doctor hurriedly was running from afar, and he held Tessa’s hand tightly. As long as you don’t lose consciousness, you’ll be fine. He repeated the same words over and over again.
“It’s okay, everything will be okay, hold on… hold on just a little more. Please, Tessa… Don’t sleep. You can’t close your eyes! Understand?”
But Tessa could hardly keep her mind that was clouded by the pain tearing through her body. Her vision had darkened. Her eyelids were also so heavy that she seemed to fall asleep any moment.
“Her, I…”
It was clear she probably wouldn’t last long. She was having a hard time even just speaking with so much effort. Perhaps because of that, tears welled up in her eyes and flowed down. Tears running down her cheeks soaked Hert’s armor.
“So… rry…”
“You…”
“I’m… sorry, Her…”
Tessa finally burst into a small cry at the barely uttered words. When she thought it was really over, she felt her whole body shake with grief. It was fortunate that she couldn’t look up at Hert because of the arrow stuck in her back. If she saw his face, she’d be even sadder.
But at the same time, it also made her feel regretful. She may never see his face again…
She won’t be able to see his smiling face anymore. If she closes her eyes here, everything will be over. The thought made her heart sank.
Maybe she is receiving the final punishment.
The final punishment for everything she has ruined with her own hands.
Because misfortune has always said that she will never be happy.
“Her…”
Tessa struggled to speak more
These were words that she couldn’t speak unless now.
“All… my fault…”
“Why is it your fault? Fuck, who said it was your fault… who…”
“Of me.”
“Damn it, you… didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing, you did nothing wrong So, don’t say that, please… Tessa. Don’t talk like… like you’re going to die soon.”
When he said she didn’t do anything wrong, Tessa unknowingly smiled faintly. How nice would it be if it really was like that. If she wasn’t guilty of anything…
So would everything have changed? Could everyone live happily?
Would he and her be able to live while drawing the future they want? Now, even though she knew it’s a futile question, she couldn’t stop thinking about the what ifs.
But Tessa stopped when she saw misfortune that had crept to her feet. Yes, that’s right. I can’t escape you. Because this is where I need to be. She smiled with sad eyes.
Do you regret it?
Tessa shook her head at the misfortune’s words. She did not regret the choice to take the arrow on Hert’s behalf. Tessa had always felt indebted to him since that day, and the fact that she had ruined everything with her own hands had eaten her up.
So, ironically, it was comforting to Tessa that she was able to repay Hert even a little.
Couldn’t she at least be able to prove that she wasn’t just a burden to Hert? That she could have been of any little help for him.
She knew better than anyone else that Hert, whom everyone needed and wanted, would better survive than her, who was useless. As the Marchioness said, Hert will become even bigger in the future.
On the other hand, the stupid, stupid, worthless girl was better not here. It was time for her to disappear.
The only thing that bothers her is…
“I’m… really… sorry…”
“Please stop… why do you keep… Saying that…”
“I, I failed… to keep the promise…”
This time, too, she failed to keep her promise to Hert.
[ “Just try to die without my permission, for once. I will never forgive you.” ]
And……
[ “I love you.” ]
Tessa swallowed her cry, feeling her vision now fading. But she couldn’t stop crying.
There were just vague tears. She can only do this because she still feels so pathetic. If she didn’t do this, her too ugly self couldn’t reach the shiny Hert.
So that’s why she might have to hurt him a little again.
‘I’m sorry, Her. I’m really sorry I couldn’t keep my promise. I said I wouldn’t die, I said I wouldn’t die without your permission. I knew you would never forgive me. I couldn’t help it. I wanted to save you. Even if it’s the last time, even like this… I wanted to be of help to you.’
In fact, she may have wanted to run away. She was not very confident in herself… Thinking that she would ruin everything again, she couldn’t stand it and chose to run away. Because when everyone rolled as one entity, she felt like she was the only one who became an ugly defective product and fell to the floor.
The same was true for the child she was carrying. She was insignificant, so she was afraid that she would make that child unhappy. She can’t move forward properly, so how can she take responsibility for a life and love it? If the child doesn’t become unhappy because of her, it was already fortunate.
So, this choice was right for her.
For the sake of both of them, disappearing was the end of her role.
Tessa unconsciously tried to grab her stomach, but then stopped. Anyway, it’s all over now. She felt that all remaining strength was draining from her body. She didn’t even have the strength left to lift her eyelids.
The last thing she saw in her slowly closing vision was the misfortune that opened its mouth as it smiled at her.
In that misfortune, there was a darkness she wanted so much to escape from.
Somewhere dark and eerie.
She was going to be thrown there alone again.
She was too tired to struggle now.
“…Tessa, Tessa!”
Tessa wanted to see Hert’s face one last time when she heard his voice calling her in tears. But she knows it’s difficult. Because she was already falling into the deep darkness herself.
Tessa reached her hand toward the fading light receding.
It’s a strange thing.
She couldn’t remember Hert’s face. It was a face she had pictured every single day for the past seven years. Even though she had never forgotten it.
At that point, Tessa realized that she was close to her death.
Did someone say that?
‘Dying is a process of forgetting everything…’
It’s hard…
Yes, you won.
Tessa closed her eyes completely.
She was left in the dark.
‘I love you, Her…’
With those words that she never once uttered aloud.
.
.
.
“…Tessa, Tessa!”
Before long, the pale white hand that held the man’s arm fell off. At that point, Hert’s time seemed to have stopped too. He stared blankly at the motionless woman in his arms with his eyes closed in the deafening silence.
His beloved wouldn’t open her eyes.
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